Starting Your Journey to Better Boundaries

Boundaries. Just like a map can help guide us through uncharted territories, boundaries can help us do the same. In our interactions, our relationships, our experiences, boundaries help share and guide us for these. And while boundaries can feel like obstacles, I’d love to present another picture: boundaries are lines drawn in the sand. Not to separate or isolate, but instead to help us define the space where we can authentically thrive!

Today, I wanted to dig into how we can recognize these lines and even perhaps, define them. To determine the limits that work for us on how people treat us and what they can expect when they are around us. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of the phenomenal book Boundaries captures it so perfectly when he says: “Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is 'not me.” This awareness gives us a sense of ownership and of responsibility over our lives. In short, boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out!

Owning Your Choices: The Power Within Boundaries

On the journey of life, our choices pave the pathway that we walk on; each decision another stone laid. Ultimately the direction your path takes you is your responsibility. You and you alone are responsible for your choices and you must live with the consequences, good or bad, of each one. It’s important when it comes to our actions, our thought lives and our decisions to remember: you always have a choice. 

This applies when it comes to setting boundaries as well! When it comes to setting boundaries, there is a deep empowerment that comes with it. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, when we fail to hold boundaries or we lack them altogether, we really become powerless. We give up our power. Not power in the way the world would frame it, but rather the power that comes from Christ living in us and knowing we are more than conquerors. 

Five Signs and Symptoms: How to Know You Need Boundaries

If you are new to the conversation on setting or holding boundaries in your life, you may wonder if this is even a need for you. There are several signs and symptoms that may be present if there is a lack of boundaries. 

Stress

When we lack boundaries in our personal or work life, it can lead to us taking on tasks, priorities or burdens that are not ours to carry. This may mean we have less time to work on our own responsibilities or even that we are unable to invest in the tasks that give us life.

Insecurity

When our boundaries are undefined or not enforced it can lead to compromising our sense of self. We may second guess our decisions or even lack the self-confidence to speak out against another's opinion.

Lack of Sleep

Heightened stress can take its toll on our physical well being. This includes the quantity and quality of our sleep. Your sleep may be impacted by racing thoughts and worry over things that are not within your control or yours to manage.

Emotional Fatigue

When we lack boundaries in our life, it is easy to overcommit ourselves and say “yes” to things we don’t have capacity for. This not only puts a strain on our time, but also on the mental load we carry. This fatigue can mean we are less capable of managing those emotions and feelings that need our attention.

Social Anxiety

When boundaries are not in place, we tend to take on more than we should or is our responsibility. Knowing this, when we enter social situations we can feel apprehensive or even anxious about what will be expected of us. Feeling overwhelmed or even guilty in a social environment may be a result of unestablished boundaries. 

To hear about more signs and symptoms of a lack of boundaries, listen to my podcast episode, Introduction and Identification of Boundaries!

Starting the Shift: Moving From Obligation to Obedience

Often, the lack of boundaries or the fact that we struggle to enforce them comes from our own thought errors. I like to think of our brain as real estate. What we have allowed to take up real estate in our mind is often what creates stress in our bodies. The thoughts encroach on our ability to think clearly at work, be present with our families and slow down in order to spend time with God. Some of the thought errors we might come into contact with are, "If I don't do this well, my business will suffer." Or, "If I don't show up, I'm letting the Lord down.”

Jesus doesn’t ask us to live life from a place of obligation, yet we can so easily find ourselves in that place. My free download Boundaries On The Mind is the perfect place for you to start identifying those thought errors and establishing boundaries that can help you make the shift to obedience. Through this tool you will discover the areas you may be lacking boundaries, the symptoms you are experiencing as a result and the next steps you are being called to by your Heavenly Father. 

Let’s Connect!

I would love to hear more about your journey with boundaries! This episode of The Original Female Entrepreneur was a part of the series, and it’s a great place to start to learn more about boundaries in your own life. To learn more about working with me for 1:1 coaching, complete this application. To learn more about The Well Mastermind, click here. 

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